The Jahari Window
The Jahari Window is a tool that helps us realize where we are in our ability to know who we are and for others to know who we are. Real transparency in communication takes place when those we associate know who we are after we discover who we really are.
Each of the above boxes represents a personality "window". Each of us falls into one category. See if you can identify what category you might fall.
In the left-hand window, the transparent life is the life I desired. I know who I am and others know me. There is nothing hidden. I have come to know who I am as an individual and basically people get what they see in me. Robert Staub, a psychologist and counselor to many executives, quoted in the August 1995 issue of Reader
This person is blinded to the things that others recognize about him. Years ago when I owned an advertising agency I discovered I could over-administrate and hurt people
A female executive tells how she never understood the impact she had on people. She was the general manager of a credit card unit when five of her 2,000 employees were found to have deliberately hidden $24 million in losses that she was accountable for. She was an intense perfectionist whom others saw as intimidating and confrontational. She was extremely opinionated. Her subordinates were fearful of reporting bad news so they lied about it. She lost her job but was later offered another chance to salvage one of the company's smaller businesses. She realized that she needed to be much more understanding of people around her. She learned from her experience and succeeded in her next assignment with the company.
This person lives in a secret world. They don
This is a combination of Bull-In-A-China Shop and Aloof/Hidden Secrets. It is the saddest of all conditions. These people don
One day my good friend Ray Miller, who was director of Fellowship of Companies for Christ International for seven years, described the following diagram that illustrates what he discovered during his time of working with chief executive officers in Christian companies. He cites that the greatest problem he saw working with business owners is getting them to enter deep relationships with other Christian business owners. The diagram demonstrates that when Christian teaching resources are the only source of influence in an executive
We have learned that it is not enough to learn "cognitive" skills alone to become effective for the
One day my mentor and I were having lunch together. "What is the measuring stick you have for determining whether your life was a success or not?" he said to me. "What a question," I thought to myself. As I often did, I fired the question back at him. "What is your measuring stick?" "I think the number of people that show up at my funeral is a good measuring stick because these people thought I impacted their lives in some way enough to show up at my funeral. I pondered his statement. I pondered how many would show up at my own funeral. I knew there would be plenty to show up at his funeral. It often disturbed me that one individual could care for others as much as he did.
From that day forward I realized I had not invested my life in others the way Christ would have me. I realized much of my activity was built toward financial security, selfish ambition and fear. My mentor went on to explain, "I began to change the way I lived my life and decided to do a one year experiment." For one year I lived my life as though it was my last year. All my decisions were based upon the idea I would not be around at the end of that year. That is how I live my life now. It has changed me forever. I
How about you? Why not take a step to find out who you really are in the eyes of others. It could change your life.